The school year starts, Sara would be starting grade three.
But she is not. Her ashes are in her closet, her school backpack right next to them. J searched for the memory box from the hospital to day so he could touch and smell her hair…
I can’t bring myself to touch them. I loved to play with her hair in the evening, we would read a book and then she would ask me to stay until she fell asleep. I would rub her forehead or play with her hair, it was so soft and delicate…
I’m feeling a bit detached from the pain of remembering her. I’m trying to heal, to cheat my brain into happy because only then we can conceive. I feel we might struggle to start a new life. I so desperately wish to make J happy again. The two of us are not enough for him, but I believe we can be a whole family again one day soon.
Please…
ktojoy 